This site has been developed
primarily for use by the students in Mr. Stutz's classes. This site
is specific to him, and does not necessarily reflect the views or recommendations
of any school at which he does now, has ever in the past, or quite possibly
could at some hypothetical time in the future, teach.
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Some material on this
site is displayed according to the principles of fair
use. Please follow this link for information
about sites cited in some of the sections of these pages. If, however,
you find any of the work to be copyrighted and not properly documented,
please contact Mr. Stutz as soon as possible.
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Standard Disclaimer
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to
real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. All models are over
18. Void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Some assembly
required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included.
Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty
expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy
equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval.
This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. This
is an adult drama, viewer discretion is advised. May be too intense for
some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For
recreational use only. Do not disturb. If condition persists, consult
your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before
date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated
picture. Monitor sold separately. Take with milk or food.
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated
until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance
of agreement. No flash photography allowed. For on-road use only. For off-road
use only. Closed road with professional driver. Do not try this at home.
As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a
substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have
sent the forms that seem right for you. Slippery when wet. Not affiliated
with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television.
Keep cool; process promptly. Post Office will not deliver without postage.
List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order
on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental
or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to
perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Bridge pavement
freezes first. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial
penalty for early withdrawal.
Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Waitress will seat you.
Place stamp here. Avoid contact with eyes and skin. Sanitized for your
protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting
guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Slightly higher west of
the Rockies. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog.
Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited
time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to
win. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not
responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Don't
even think about parking here. No passes accepted for this engagement.
No purchase necessary. Look for the Union label. We are not satisfied until
you are. Not responsible for typographical errors. Processed at location
stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use
only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace
with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here
if tax deductible.
Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian
coins. Not recommended for children. Not recommended. Prerecorded for this
time zone. All rights reserved. View at your own risk. Some services not
available in all areas. No part may be reproduced or transmitted in any
form without written consent. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise
specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate
dates. Children and new patients welcome. First pull up, then pull down.
Call toll free number before digging. LSMFT. Driver does not carry cash.
Ask about our tuck and carry bag. Child care available during services.
Confidential testing and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases. You
are the "U" in union. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product
appear for identification purposes only. 24 hour emergency service. One
dollar off on Tuesdays.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions
on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Installation
and activation are extra. Do not bend. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.
Exact change only. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete
stop. Do not leave your seat until the aircraft has come to a full stop
at the gate. Tax included. Approved by Dr. Mom. In the event of a water
landing: swim. Call about our Braille web pages. Same day/1-hour service
on most items. One location to serve you better. Spot removal specialists.
Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. 100% money back
guarantee. We reserve the right to limit quantities.
Stop, get ticket. Right lane must turn right. Left lane must turn left.
Middle lane must make up their damn minds. This site runs on unleaded fuel
only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buses and carpools
with two or more people only. No hitchhiking. Components may be hot. Silica
gel - do not eat. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer. Details
on reverse side. Shoplifters will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of
the law. We reserve the right to check all bags, coats & personal belongings
upon exiting this page. Recycle. Fragile - handle with care. This side
up. No jumping or diving. No running by the pool. Register has less than
$50 after dark. No swimming unless lifeguard is present. Swim at your own
risk! Please do not wade in fountain. Guaranteed low prices. Not transferable.
Actual size not shown. Contents under pressure. Do not intentionally inhale
vapors. Please be kind, rewind. No dealers. Post no bills. Curb your dog.
Federal law prohibits dispensing without prescription. Thin ice. Do not
hump. I know nothing. I am not a crook. I do not know nor have I had relations
with Monica Lewinsky. Who was that masked man? I was only following orders.
Of course I love you.
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Fine Print
Warning: Do not operate a motor nor non-motor vehicle when viewing this
page. Do not view when pregnant or during sex. Do not mix with alcohol,
chocolate, or broccoli or any other food containing oxymoronic acid. Do
not exceed the recommended dosage. With higher doses, nervousness, dizziness,
belching, dropsy, or sleeplessness may occur. Do not view these pages for
more than 7 days. If symptoms do not improve or are accompanied by nausea,
please get a life. Do not view if you have heart disease, high blood pressure,
thyroid disease, malaria, typhoid fever, AIDS, melancholy, diabetes, or
difficult urinations due to enlarged prostrate gland or genitalia unless
directed by a real doctor (Ph.D.). Action figures sold separately. Do not
remove any HTML tags under penalty of law. Hand wash only - tumble dry
on low heat. Short circuit may cause fire. No more than 3 transactions
per car. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Blackout dates may apply. Viewing
by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth and low birth
weight. Insert Tab A into Slot B. Call toll free number before digging.
This space (____________) intentionally left blank.
No fur-bearing animals were harmed during the creation of this document.
Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but we doubt it. Return for refund where
applicable. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Proud
sponsor of the 1934 penguin Olympic games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica.
May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use. Contents
under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Caution: this product
has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across
the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Not to be combined
with other radioisotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid
prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. The truth is out there. Use no
hooks. Printed on unrecycled dead trees and we're proud of it. Trucks over
4 tons excluded. This is a test of the emergency broadcast system - this
is ONLY A TEST! For indoor or outdoor use only. Wearing of this garment
does not enable you to fly. Postal service will not deliver mail without
postage. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
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Finer Print
This site contains pirated material and is full of copyright violations.
Interested parties may press charges, but it won't do any good because
I have no money anyway. Views and opinions stated here may not agree with
my other personalities. Contains no preservatives except those not listed.
The owner of the site bears no responsibility for hurt feelings, stomachaches
caused by excessive laughter or the side effects caused by engaging brain
during attempts to comprehend some jokes. Contains material that may be
not suitable for some morons. May cause hearing damage if clicking too
loud. If the content gets in your eyes, wash the monitor with worm water.
If swallowed, enjoy. Do not use near open fire, tornadoes or earthquakes.
May be inappropriate for children ages 72 to 5 years. Causes cancer in
laboratory professors. Shake before opening. Values based on 10,000-calorie
diet. Doors do not rebound or bounce back.
Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. Patent pending. For
external use only. Avoid extreme temperatures. Avoid contact with eyes
and skin. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.
Do not place near a magnetic source. No salt, MSG, artificial color or
flavoring added. If ingested, induce vomiting. Allow four to six weeks
for delivery. You may distribute this article freely, but may not make
a profit from it. Actual cash value of this website is 1/1000th of a cent.
Listen to your mom. Eat your veggies. Wear your seatbelt. Don't take candy
from strangers... or strange people... or anyone really. Illustrations
are slightly enlarged to show detail. If something offends you, lighten
up, get a life and move on. This list was current at the time of printing.
Terms are subject to change without notice. All decisions are final! For
office use only. This is not an attorney advertisement or referral service.
Only 1 winner per household. Take two of these and call me in the morning.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now with new plastic applicator.
High altitude directions-increase cook time by 10 minutes. Please remain
seated until the ride comes to a complete stop. Return your seatback and
tray table to their normal upright position. Your seat cushion can be used
as a flotation device. In the event of decreased air pressure, oxygen masks
will pop out of the top of your monitor. The call you have made requires
a 20 cent deposit. No trespassing. No stopping or standing. No parking
when road is snow covered. Product will be hot after heating. Do not iron
clothes on body. Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine.
Do not use while sleeping. Do not use on food.
This page made from 100% recycled electrons. No substitutions allowed.
Caveat emptor. Provided "as-is" without warranty. Reader assumes full responsibility.
We are an equal opportunity employer. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Quantities
are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not
attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center.
Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit
one per family please. No money down. Sealed for your protection - do not
use if safety seal is broken. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Use seatbelts even with airbags.
Do not stop on railroad tracks. Employees must wash hands before returning
to work. Caution, coffee is served HOT. Filmed in front of a live, studio
audience. Leave off the last S for savings. Calls may be monitored for
quality assurance or training purposes. Please make your selections
from the following menu. All representatives are still busy assisting
other callers. Please stay on the line and a representative
will be with you when they feel the need. Please call back during
our normal business hours. Winners need not be present to win. Do
not use this product with a petroleum-based lubricant. This web page contains
no CFCs.
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Finest Print
Caution: A persistent cough may be a sign of a serious condition. If symptoms
persist for more than a week (or 7 days - whichever comes first), tend
to recur, or are accompanied by fever, rash, or persistent headache, pulmonary
disease, shortness of breath, difficulty in breathing, marked drowsiness,
excessive phlegm (mucus or snot), or any combinations of the above, seek
heavy street medication. May cause Dave (and Susan) drowsiness; alcohol,
sedatives, and tranquilizers may increase the drowsiness effect. Prompt
psychological counseling is critical for adults if you do not notice any
signs of any of the above. We are not responsible for any damage or harm
this homepage may cause upon you, your family, or your computer.
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Legal Gibberish
This website is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) and
may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable
for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or
irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any
dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized
(either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social
faux pas. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg
and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere
other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or no grammatical
use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this
email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me
tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be
gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading
this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft.
However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your
computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets.
Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado,
tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God,
neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper
or unauthorized repair, typos, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing
or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts,
sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this
list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking
on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky
roof, broken glass, disk failure, accidental file deletions, mud slides,
forest fire, hitting of a deer, milk coming out of your nose due to laughing
while drinking, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to,
arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions
of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Smoking this
article could be hazardous to your health. Future disclaimers will be added
upon accumulation of legal incidents.
The content of these web pages does not reflect the thoughts or opinions
of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog. I am not licensed
to practice law in Montana, the United States, or any province, state,
commonwealth, territory, or other geographic, political, or social entity.
The following information is provided for your personal entertainment only
and should not be construed or relied upon as legal advice, and the submission
of this information does not and will not constitute the establishment
of an attorney-client relationship or any other fiduciary relationship
between said party of the first part and the party of the second part to
have and to hold for ever and ever with liberty and justice for all. Amen.
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This supersedes all previous notices.
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do you really need more? Then check
out the Deep Thoughts page....
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