Welcome to Mr. Stutz's School Site!

Currently broadcasting  from Mumbai, India!


former students can always find their links in the navigation bar at the top

Follow the correct link below to go to your class page on the ASB portal:

Block A - Block F - Block H

Green Web Hosting! This site hosted by DreamHost.
Search WWWSearch stutzfamily.com 
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Mr. Stutz's
Home Page
Current World Population
Mr. Stutz's Email License

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This site has been developed primarily for use by the students in Mr. Stutz's classes.  This site is specific to him, and does not necessarily reflect the views or recommendations of any school at which he does now, has ever in the past, or quite possibly could at some hypothetical time in the future, teach.
Some material on this site is displayed according to the principles of fair use. Please follow this link for information about sites cited in some of the sections of these pages. If, however, you find any of the work to be copyrighted and not properly documented, please contact Mr. Stutz as soon as possible.

Standard Disclaimer
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. All models are over 18. Void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. This is an adult drama, viewer discretion is advised. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb.  If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. Monitor sold separately. Take with milk or food. 
No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. No flash photography allowed. For on-road use only. For off-road use only. Closed road with professional driver. Do not try this at home. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms that seem right for you. Slippery when wet. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post Office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Bridge pavement freezes first. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. 
Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Waitress will seat you. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with eyes and skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. May be hazardous to health if consumed in excessive quantities. Not responsible for typographical errors. No returns unless defective. Don't even think about parking here. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Look for the Union label. We are not satisfied until you are. Not responsible for typographical errors. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. 
Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Not recommended. Prerecorded for this time zone. All rights reserved. View at your own risk. Some services not available in all areas. No part may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without written consent. Names have been changed to protect the innocent. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs, or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. Children and new patients welcome. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. LSMFT. Driver does not carry cash. Ask about our tuck and carry bag. Child care available during services. Confidential testing and treatment of sexually transmitted diseases. You are the "U" in union. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. 24 hour emergency service. One dollar off on Tuesdays. 
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Installation and activation are extra. Do not bend. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Exact change only. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Do not leave your seat until the aircraft has come to a full stop at the gate. Tax included. Approved by Dr. Mom. In the event of a water landing: swim. Call about our Braille web pages. Same day/1-hour service on most items. One location to serve you better. Spot removal specialists. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. 100% money back guarantee. We reserve the right to limit quantities. 
Stop, get ticket. Right lane must turn right. Left lane must turn left. Middle lane must make up their damn minds. This site runs on unleaded fuel only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Buses and carpools with two or more people only. No hitchhiking. Components may be hot. Silica gel - do not eat. Not to be used in conjunction with any other offer. Details on reverse side. Shoplifters will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. We reserve the right to check all bags, coats & personal belongings upon exiting this page. Recycle. Fragile - handle with care. This side up. No jumping or diving. No running by the pool. Register has less than $50 after dark. No swimming unless lifeguard is present. Swim at your own risk! Please do not wade in fountain. Guaranteed low prices. Not transferable. Actual size not shown. Contents under pressure. Do not intentionally inhale vapors. Please be kind, rewind. No dealers. Post no bills. Curb your dog. Federal law prohibits dispensing without prescription. Thin ice. Do not hump. I know nothing. I am not a crook. I do not know nor have I had relations with Monica Lewinsky. Who was that masked man? I was only following orders. Of course I love you. 
Fine Print
Warning: Do not operate a motor nor non-motor vehicle when viewing this page. Do not view when pregnant or during sex. Do not mix with alcohol, chocolate, or broccoli or any other food containing oxymoronic acid. Do not exceed the recommended dosage. With higher doses, nervousness, dizziness, belching, dropsy, or sleeplessness may occur. Do not view these pages for more than 7 days. If symptoms do not improve or are accompanied by nausea, please get a life. Do not view if you have heart disease, high blood pressure, thyroid disease, malaria, typhoid fever, AIDS, melancholy, diabetes, or difficult urinations due to enlarged prostrate gland or genitalia unless directed by a real doctor (Ph.D.). Action figures sold separately. Do not remove any HTML tags under penalty of law. Hand wash only - tumble dry on low heat. Short circuit may cause fire. No more than 3 transactions per car. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Blackout dates may apply. Viewing by pregnant women may result in fetal injury, premature birth and low birth weight. Insert Tab A into Slot B. Call toll free number before digging. This space (____________) intentionally left blank. 
No fur-bearing animals were harmed during the creation of this document. Allergy alert: may contain nutmeg, but we doubt it. Return for refund where applicable. Not recommended for persons with sugar-restricted diets. Proud sponsor of the 1934 penguin Olympic games at McMurdo Sound, Antarctica. May cause irritability, sleeplessness or warts after prolonged use. Contents under pressure. BHT added to preserve freshness. Caution: this product has caused some laboratory rats to rip through their cages, fly across the room and brutally murder hundreds of innocent people. Not to be combined with other radioisotopes except under the advice of a physician. Avoid prolonged exposure to ultraviolet light. The truth is out there. Use no hooks. Printed on unrecycled dead trees and we're proud of it. Trucks over 4 tons excluded. This is a test of the emergency broadcast system - this is ONLY A TEST! For indoor or outdoor use only. Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. Postal service will not deliver mail without postage. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. 
Finer Print
This site contains pirated material and is full of copyright violations. Interested parties may press charges, but it won't do any good because I have no money anyway. Views and opinions stated here may not agree with my other personalities. Contains no preservatives except those not listed. The owner of the site bears no responsibility for hurt feelings, stomachaches caused by excessive laughter or the side effects caused by engaging brain during attempts to comprehend some jokes. Contains material that may be not suitable for some morons. May cause hearing damage if clicking too loud. If the content gets in your eyes, wash the monitor with worm water. If swallowed, enjoy. Do not use near open fire, tornadoes or earthquakes. May be inappropriate for children ages 72 to 5 years. Causes cancer in laboratory professors. Shake before opening. Values based on 10,000-calorie diet.  Doors do not rebound or bounce back. 
Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. Patent pending. For external use only. Avoid extreme temperatures. Avoid contact with eyes and skin. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not place near a magnetic source. No salt, MSG, artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, induce vomiting. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. You may distribute this article freely, but may not make a profit from it. Actual cash value of this website is 1/1000th of a cent. Listen to your mom. Eat your veggies. Wear your seatbelt. Don't take candy from strangers... or strange people... or anyone really. Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life and move on. This list was current at the time of printing. Terms are subject to change without notice. All decisions are final! For office use only. This is not an attorney advertisement or referral service. Only 1 winner per household. Take two of these and call me in the morning. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now with new plastic applicator. High altitude directions-increase cook time by 10 minutes. Please remain seated until the ride comes to a complete stop. Return your seatback and tray table to their normal upright position. Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. In the event of decreased air pressure, oxygen masks will pop out of the top of your monitor. The call you have made requires a 20 cent deposit. No trespassing. No stopping or standing. No parking when road is snow covered. Product will be hot after heating. Do not iron clothes on body. Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine. Do not use while sleeping. Do not use on food. 
This page made from 100% recycled electrons. No substitutions allowed. Caveat emptor. Provided "as-is" without warranty. Reader assumes full responsibility. We are an equal opportunity employer. No shoes, no shirt, no service. Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one per family please. No money down. Sealed for your protection - do not use if safety seal is broken. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Use seatbelts even with airbags. Do not stop on railroad tracks. Employees must wash hands before returning to work. Caution, coffee is served HOT. Filmed in front of a live, studio audience. Leave off the last S for savings. Calls may be monitored for quality assurance or training purposes.  Please make your selections from the following menu.  All representatives are still busy assisting other callers.   Please stay on the line and a representative will be with you when they feel the need.  Please call back during our normal business hours.  Winners need not be present to win. Do not use this product with a petroleum-based lubricant. This web page contains no CFCs. 
Finest Print
Caution: A persistent cough may be a sign of a serious condition. If symptoms persist for more than a week (or 7 days - whichever comes first), tend to recur, or are accompanied by fever, rash, or persistent headache, pulmonary disease, shortness of breath, difficulty in breathing, marked drowsiness, excessive phlegm (mucus or snot), or any combinations of the above, seek heavy street medication. May cause Dave (and Susan) drowsiness; alcohol, sedatives, and tranquilizers may increase the drowsiness effect. Prompt psychological counseling is critical for adults if you do not notice any signs of any of the above. We are not responsible for any damage or harm this homepage may cause upon you, your family, or your computer. 
Legal Gibberish
This website is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. If you have received this email in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place in a warm oven for 40 minutes.
Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or no grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. 
Disclaimer does not cover misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, hurricanes, and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized repair, typos, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water, motor vehicle crashing, dropping the item, falling rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, disk failure, accidental file deletions, mud slides, forest fire, hitting of a deer, milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking, or projectile (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.). Smoking this article could be hazardous to your health. Future disclaimers will be added upon accumulation of legal incidents. 
The content of these web pages does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my dog. I am not licensed to practice law in Montana, the United States, or any province, state, commonwealth, territory, or other geographic, political, or social entity. The following information is provided for your personal entertainment only and should not be construed or relied upon as legal advice, and the submission of this information does not and will not constitute the establishment of an attorney-client relationship or any other fiduciary relationship between said party of the first part and the party of the second part to have and to hold for ever and ever with liberty and justice for all. Amen. 
This supersedes all previous notices.
do you really need more? Then check out the Deep Thoughts page....