and poetry

Little Miss Muffett
Little Miss Muffett
Sat on the toilet
with everyone so far away
She drank some bad water
and began feeling hotter
And died within the day

(to the tune of Jack and Jill)
Jack and Jill went up the hill
to get condoms for a disease
but they forgot
the store sold out
so they came down with herpes

Hepatitis B, B, B
(to the tune of the ABC's song)
Hepatitis B, B, B
How you're glad you are not me
My skin and eyes are all yellow
And my tummy feels like jello
My body aches
My head aches too
And it hurts to pee and poo

Yellow Fever
(to the tune of Give the Dog a Bone)
Yellow fever causes frights
it is caused by mosquito bites
if you have a high fever
and a yellow skin
uh-oh it claims a life again

Jack and Jill
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To catch a common cold
Little that they knew
They had caught the flu
If only they had been told

Jack and Jill got the chills
And both got fevers too
Headaches and backaches
And a sore throat, groan
They wish that they had known

The Itty-Bitty Smallpox
(The Itsy-Bitsy Spider)
The itty-bitty smallpox infected all the town
It really knocked the population down
If you get all bloody then you will surely die
And the itty-bitty smallpox wouldn't even cry

Three Blind Fleas
(Three Blind Mice)
Three blind fleas
Off three blind rats
See how they kill
See how they kill
They killed off my family members
And they gave me these black bubbles
Have you ever died of a really bad trouble because of…
Three blind fleas

Three blind fleas
Off of the three blind rats
See how they ruined
See how they ruined
They ruined some people’s religion
And took half of Europe’s population
It was a really terrible situation from…
Three blind fleas